Another gorgeous lady made a great escape this week from the insane Tom Cruise. I reckon what he needs to do is find someone more in tune with his brainwaves, with less emphasis on looks, and by jove I think I have found her. I am a veritable match-maker extraordinaire.
Now the team at CERN have found the Higgs Boson (so they say), I challenge them to find these things next:
#1 - Harry Styles pictured out with a younger lady.
#2 - An honest Bank Chief Executive.
#3 - Eric Pickle's leaving some chocolate cake on his plate.
The scarily tall Shard was finally finished this week in London making the Gherkin look as feeble as me standing naked next to the equally naked Michael Fassbender.
I had the misfortune to catch Embarrassing Bodies: Live from the Clinic this week and was immediately confronted by a giant cock. Fortunately Dr Christian Jessen was not onscreen all the time and some time was spent viewing the rather lovely Dr Dawn Harper, who was kind enough to have a lovely short skirt on which enabled me to make a thorough examination. There did follow a report though that made A Small Mind quite happy, breaking the wonderful news that his member isn't actually that small.
The whole concept of this show though really is rather bizarre, waggling your dick or boobs over webcam live for Channel 4. While watching those double KK baps this week, I felt the need to make sure that money was not being removed from my credit card.
Interesting to see that druggie on Question Time last night. Not sure if Johnny Rotten enjoyed sitting next to Louise Mensch though. She talked about drugs effecting her mentally also, I presume that was the period when she was writing her books.
The comic genius that was Eric Sykes died this week.
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