The Friday Fry-Up: Olympics Special - 27th July 2012

Cashing in on the Olympics...


Tried to get another job working for G4S at the Olympics this week saying that I was a pat-down specialist, specializing in female checking. Sadly they didn't buy it, and told me I would have to feel knobs as well to do the job. I felt a few dicks but drew the line at patting down Simon Cowell when he came through the checkpoint.


Planning on watching a bit of Women's Football, not for the game but to try and guess which one I would. Also which one would back, or which would play in the bushes.


It has been reported this week that it is irresponsible for athletes and sports stars to front ad campaigns for fast food outlets or junk food. Too right, you would never find me, a natural athlete, lowering themselves to this in the need for money.
Now a message from my sponsor:

The sublime Twenty Twelve comedy series finished this week. Having sent up the Olympics deliverance committee for two series, it was clear at the end that it just hadn't been realistic enough. It really was not daft enough.


I am afraid that I have to confirm that I am 95% unfit for the Olympics, I yesterday incurred a slight strain in the index finger of my right hand. Unfortunately due to this I am going to suffer substantial pain as this is the main finger that I use for changing channels on my remote.


Woke to a tremendous ringing in my ears this morning. Not "All The Bells", but my damn Tinnitus is back again.


North Korea had a cheek walking out to an honest mistake the other day. What is frankly a mistake of a country, with the most appalling human rights issues should not get on their hind horse about this. They need to grow up, especially their leader.


Finally I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am excited by the Olympics and have sadly had to hear endless people going on about how they hate it, wish we had never won it and have heard enough about it. All I would like to say here is that I am now fed up with all you that have endlessly complained that you hate it, wish we had never won it and have heard enough about it.