DISNEY'S PLANES - At Cinemas Now!

At Cinemas Now The Latest Blockbuster cartoon animation from Disney!

From the makers of Disney's Cars come this brand new exciting adventure.

Featuring all those favourite comic characters that you came to love so much.

This time they take to the skies in a brand new adventure featuring the superstar voices that help the box office takings while adding nothing to the film.

Those wonderful comic creations you saw in Cars are back, this time with wings!

They take part in an action adventure that you are sure to have seen before in that hit children's cartoon Cars, which coincidently we released to rave reviews and huge box office takings.

So here we are again with a not so different adventure featuring planes and not cars!

 So now is the time to shoot off to your local multiplex in your planes, eh cars and soak up the fun and frolics in this brand new classic comic adventure.

 AT CINEMAS NOW

Coming soon to a cinema near you:

BICYCLES(2014)

TRAINS (2014)

TRUCKS (2015)

SHIPS (2015)

TAXIS (2015)

BUSES (2016)

MOTORCYCLES (2016)

HOT AIR BALLOONS (2016)

CANOES (2016)

VANS (2017)

GLIDERS (2017)

RICKSHAWS (2017)

UNICYCLES (2017)

and many more as we think of them!

New From Channel 5: Envelope Opening With The Stars

Following the huge success of the pilot show on Channel 5 News on the 15th August featuring A-level results from around the country, television broadcaster Channel 5 is proud to announce the commissioning of a brand new entertainment show.

Each Saturday night a famous person will meet select members of the public for that most exciting night of their lives. Live from a spectacular stage erected weekly in London's Trafalgar Square they will be with them for key moments of their lives. That envelope which will change their lives forever.

Episode 1 presented by superstar Simon Cowell will see seven men from all over Britain at that most important time. Each side of a dramatically placed commercial break the men will open that envelope that contains the crucial results of their paternity test to see whether for the rest of their lives they have to pay child maintenance.

EPISODE 1 - WHOSE THE DADDY?

Episode 2 presented by Prince Harry Of Wales spins episode 1 on its head with 16-30 year olds from around the country opening that important envelope containing the information as to who really is their father, the man who deserted them at birth. 

EPISODE 2 - ARE YOU MY DADDY?

 

Episode 3 sees Abi Titmuss meet men and women from around the country who have had an unfortunate moment of a split during copulating and have the life changing moment of whether they have an STD to deal with, potentially for the rest of their lives.

EPISODE 3 - RUBBER OR NOT?

Episode 4 sees former cyclist Lance Armstrong meet men and women with that vital doctors letter in their possession. The moment is here for them to finally know whether that illness that they have been suffering with is the Big C.

EPISODE 4 - THE BIG C-SAW

Episode 5 sees Stephen Fry meet members of families from around the country who have had family members die in potentially suspicious circumstances. All have left a sealed envelope either at the scene or at their home. So the time has come for the answer.

EPISODE 5 - TOPPED OR NOT?

Channel 5 is very proud to announce this exciting, groundbreaking new series for their Autumn schedule.

Godfrey Bloom Gets His Bongo's In A Twist

UKIP MEP Godfrey Bloom probably had a good point to make. Unfortunately he put his point across like a bull queueing to buy a porcelain toreador figurine.

We all know what he really meant, and to a great many people who are currently really struggling in our economic climate, many probably agreed with him. It's very true that to many areas of the world we are living it up, that is the thing being in a so-called first world nation. However if we are considered rich in the grand scheme of things, must we really find the need to send our money abroad to help? Especially at a time when hundreds and hundreds of our home nation families are having to attend food banks on a regular basis.

There is definitely a concern of waste when sending to some of these countries. It is true that they are among the poorest in the world that we send to, however you could say that some of them are among the most corrupt in the world also. Therefore can we truly believe that every penny of our money goes to those that are really in need of it? We are currently sending around £100 million a year to Zimbabwe for instance, and this of course we are confident is being spent wisely on the poor and needy as there is no thought of corruption there!

Putting corruption waste to one side, there is then the matter of whether a country really needs aid. This brings us swiftly to India, our glorious former Commonwealth asset, that of course our nation can only be grateful over the years. A country that we must really look after, a country that has slums and street children. Danny Boyle's Slumdog Millionaire made the world cry with the sorrow of its existence. Oh, this poor and unfortunate country. We must help them. So we do, we currently send £280 million a year to them. They really need it, they truly do.

Well at least they have their $1.3 billion space program to keep their spirits high. When a five year old is scrapping about in the gutter filled with urine and faeces looking for food to survive, at least they can think to themselves of their wonderful nations intergalactic achievements.

So, yes Mr Bloom. You have a good point to make, sadly you have the refined nature of Chubby Brown's after dinner speech at the local Eid celebrations.

Troll On, Troll Off - The Twitter Trial

Twitter is under attack. Not necessarily just from trolls but from those that would eradicate them! It would seem at the moment that Twitter is a hot bed of crime and perversion, that all users are threatening to bomb, rape and pillage others. When in actual fact most of us, like humanity itself are pretty normal.

However Twitter apparently has got to get its house in order. Those that run it are pretty much an accessory to this crime that is going on.

However surely that is crazy talk if you sit back and think. Since when did a communication medium become responsible explicitly for its users?

When the Royal Mail delivered that poison pen letter that that evil piece of work wrote fifty years ago, were they responsible? No.

When the I.R.A. sent their coded bomb threats from that phone box down the road, did the boss of B.T. stand in the dock too? No.

You could say that I make light of these crimes that are being perpetrated against (mostly) lady users of Twitter (and yes other social media), but at no point am I wishing to trivialise them in any way. What I am really saying is that crime should be controlled, and be the sole responsibility of the police. Not some internet moguls that setup a really rather successful business.

Twitter is certainly not anonymous like the Royal Mail and the telephone and that is surely the only place where the Twitter owners come in, to provide the details of the users that do the crime. To quote the old fashioned term, like all responsible adults, they should assist the police with their enquiries perhaps. Not be hung, drawn and quartered in the press because their "vessel" of social interaction is being used in a criminal way.

Twitter, Facebook and others should, and are wonderful places to gather for light-hearted fun, interaction with "famous" people and just general social activity. They should not find themselves the victim of members of the public that neither understand or want to understand how social media works.

Like all walks of life the bad can sometimes appear to be the major factor, the overwhelming evil. However like all areas of the world, they are the minority and at no point should we succumb to them or blame others, other that the authorities for not controlling them.

POWER TO THE (NEARLY) NORMAL PEOPLE!


Twitter: @asmallmind