The Secret Diary Of Misty The Cat

I was tidying the cats camp yesterday in the spare room and came across a rather surprising item. Mixed up in issues of Cathouse, Playpuss and Barely Neutered was a leather bound diary. I was amazed, I had never realised that my cats were that intelligent, to think that they could write truly amazes me. So much so, I thought that I would sneak a regular look at the journal and share it with you.

The Secret Diary Of Misty The Cat

April

Wednesday 27th

Woke up to a most horrendous itch this morning. Had a scratch and went back to sleep.

Thursday 28th

I spent an hour and a half in the bathroom this morning getting myself spruced up for the big day tomorrow. Combed my fur with a toothbrush and scrubbed my bum with my idiot owners flannel. I am sure he won’t notice.

Needed also to trim my nails, but couldn’t find the nail cutters. However I managed to make them smarter on the living room sofa. Made a bit of a mess though, but not to worry.

My brother Adrian was trying on his tuxedo just now, he looks like a gangster. Think we shall need to take a shotgun to the wedding tomorrow just to complete the look.

Friday 29^th

Rose early for the big day, it wasn’t even ten o’clock when I came down and had some food.

Took me a while to put my dress on, kept getting my claws caught in the lace. Finally looked the part though with my hat on. It fitted over my ears quite snugly.

Unfortunately I lay on the tatty sofa to watch the ceremony and next thing I knew they were driving in some old car with one of those scary flying things over head. All that trouble and I missed the whole thing.

Saturday 30^th

After the big event I slept all day to regain my strength.

May

Sunday 1^st

A lovely new month, and on the calendar this time is a Dalmatian chained up, so much better than last months Chiwawa in the stocks.

My idiot owner was trying to type on his computer this afternoon. Oh didn’t I have fun helping him.

Monday 2nd

Woke at four this morning to the most horrendous noise coming from the garden. A scuffle went on for about five minutes and ended in a huge splash in the pond. I sneaked out to have a look when all had gone quiet and found Barry the Persian from down the street was climbing out of the pond. He told me he had got in a scuffle with Hamish the American Shorthair from up the street.

Went and slept for the rest of the day after all that excitement.

Tuesday 3^rd

My idiot owner was trying to fix the pond this morning when I got up, apparently something had happened that had caused a leak. I didn’t want to tell him what, because he doesn’t know I can talk.