May
Wednesday 11th
That outrageous picture has today been revealed as the winner of the competition. It was proudly displayed on the front page for even more people to see. The shame of it. Stopped inside all day once again. :(
Thursday 12th
Adrian the tortoiseshell was peering through the cat flap this morning while I was eating. I am sure it is about the photo in the paper. I can't even eat in peace now.
Friday 13th
Well, despite everything, I now appear to have struck lucky. It turns out that this competition was just cat photos, and luck would have it, the prize was for a years supply of Whiskas cat food. This is going to be so awesome, my idiot owner only forks out for that boring, horrible shop brand stuff. Just because I lick my arse, eat dirt from the garden and dine regularly on grass and other assorted weeds, doesn't mean that I don't want to eat good food.
Saturday 14th
I ate far too much of the new cat food yesterday and could hardly move from my bed. However at about 8.15pm I was jolted from my slumber by the most hideous of screaming from downstairs. I thought that my idiot owner had brought a woman home and he had just took off his mask.
However it turns out that the sad old fool was just watching the Eurovision song contest. Some of them made old Marvis the Burmese sound pleasant.
Sunday 15th
Had trouble sleeping last night after all that screeching, so slept all day.
Monday 16th
I think someone is looking through my diary, I am sure it was in a different position today.
Tuesday 17th
I am now certain that my diary is being tampered with. I left it in a very specific position and it was definitely moved. I need to keep an eye on it.
Wednesday 18th
There are spies everywhere! I know its not my idiot owner, I am pretty sure he can't read.
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