The Friday Fry-Up - 4th May 2012

Condensed moments of madness from the past week.

The Voice or Britain's Got Talent? I know! Neither...


I understand that W.ILL.I.AM (that right?) spent most of the time during The Voice twittering, and apparently he was also using social media during the show as well.


I have spent quite a bit of time over the last couple of weeks watching the World Championship Snooker. Not for the sport at all, but admiring the way that referee Michaela Tabb handles the balls.

Michaela Tabb holding one of my balls...

Just arranged with the Ministry of Defence to have a nuclear missile launchpad in my garden to defend ourselves during the Olympics should the missiles in London let them down. One of them landing on London  will sure guarantee an epic legacy for the games.


A cockney is now someone born within the sound of the Bow bangs from the missiles as they launch of the nearest flat block.


So Tulisa is the sexiest woman in the world then, amazing what a little video leaking can do for your public profile. After all that exposure it would have been a terrible blow if she hadn't have won.


I was unable to find A Small Mind's nomination of Pam St Clement anywhere in the top 100 of the sexiest poll. A great disappointment.

You know you would... You would't? Oh...

London Mayor Election comments (delete as applicable):
Well done Boris you old buffoon, sad that you got in again, really wanted to see you back on Have I Got News For You.
Bad luck Boris you old wiff waff, happy that you didn't get back in as I am looking forward to you presenting Have I Got New For You again.
Well done Ken, glad that you have got back in again for the London Olympics, mainly because I am sure you can wave the flag about a lot better than that clown Boris.
Bad luck Ken, shame that you couldn't get back in for the Olympics, we shall have to put up with that fool wiffing and waffing the flag about again no doubt.
Bad luck Brian.


Note to Conservatives complaining about their losses at the local elections: If your drastic cuts are due to the failings of the previous Labour Government, but the people are still voting against you, it looks like they may not believe you or they know you are swinging the hammer too dramatically. Time to stop blaming the last Government and do the job carefully and not painfully perhaps.