At A Cinema Near You May 11th

Day one: I called that black guy a ******* ***** ******.
Day two: I drank a shit load of drink and spend off down the highway at 130mph.
Day three: I slapped that bitch good and proper.
Day four: I ******* broke that ******* restraining-order and slapped that bitch again.
Day five: That guy wearing that Kippah, I told him to ******* **** ** ****.
Day six: I smashed that ******* bar to a pulp.
Day seven: I made a new movie, I hope you come and see it.

Opening this Friday at a Cinema near you:

MEL GIBSON
in
HOW I ALLEGEDLY SPENT MY SUMMER VACATION

"He was soooo awesome, he broke my jaw in several places." Woman B

"His performance was so good, when he told me to 'Suck my ******* ****, you ****!', I really believed he meant it." Man wearing headgear C

"The way that car seemed totally out of control seemed so realistic. He done all his own stunts." Highway Patrol Officer F

"I hope there is a ******* sequel, he spent so much money, but it did help pay for the repairs." Barman H