So I read today that Simon Cowell might not appear in the new UK series of The X-Factor. Such sad news, I have my trousers at half mast in mourning. Well I say half mast, but that is half Simon's trousers, so technically I am just wearing mine normal.
However the main point is, they now need a replacement and I reckon I should do it. I mean, as you will get to know over time I am a man of the world. A man with his finger on the pulse, and indeed other peoples pulses, but we best not go there. Well at least for now.
But the point is I could see myself on that panel, I tell it like it is. I also rarely make sense, so I would fit in perfect alongside Louis Walsh. I really could see myself sitting between Louis and Danniiiiiiiii (how many i's is it again?) Minogue. Indeed I would happily sit between Dannii Minogue's, I could see that would be quite comfy, not that I would be able to hear the music. So that's yet another plus!
Now back to the point, they really need a dynamic judge at this time, what with them maybe losing Cheryl Tweedy, nee Cole, nee Hough, knee someone else. No that last bit I shall leave to Ashley. Anyway, I could do it, with my guidance I would have led Wagner to his rightful victory, I would have got to grips with Stacey Soloman. Also I should be on the panel for Britain's Got Talent, I would have lanced that Boyle and smacked that Jedward into shape.
So when the time comes, vote for A Small Mind. Or alternatively vote for an even smaller one and watch Ant & Dec on Saturday night.
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