The Sunday Shakedown - 26th August 2012

...and on the seventh day there was waffle.

The most glorious week when wild child Prince Harry got his Ginger Nuts out. Then having lost them in a game of billiards, he paraded naked for a convenient phone camera for all the world to see.
Now we are in a world of equal rights now, so to keep the sexual equality, I believe we now need to see Catherine after a failed game of Strip Poker, or Zara sharing a rugby shower with the International Rugby forwards, or heaven forbid Princess Anne after a loss in the Strip Dressage.

I would like to state at this point in time that I have not slept with this person:

Katherine Jenkins is now sadly only a very close friend. I realise that it is very unlikely that you will believe me when I say that myself and Katherine are not an item. However despite taking an absolute age to set-up and light all them damn candles. All she did was smile sweetly at me and then show me her Paso Doble. Sadly this was not a euphemism and it was just something that lucky bastard Derek Hough had showed her on Dancing With The Stars even though he wasn't even her partner.
I truly believed that I could hit it off with the lovely Katherine and that the only real stumbling block was that she didn't understand my needs and what I wanted to do for her. I think this is probably just because she is welsh.
I shall just settle for watching her wriggling and bouncing on my monitor on repeat...

The Friday Sun newspaper finally relented and presented a dick on the front page of their paper. This was news to me as I hadn't realised that Simon Cowell and the The X-Factor were back on TV.

I do not wish to confirm at this stage that I have slept with David Beckham. I can confirm however that all those endless Becks in pants photos also contain socks...

Just about recovering from all them sickening photos of Wayne Rooney that spread across my Twitter timeline yesterday. Apparently he also had an injury as well, but I have yet to see this.

Yesterday we said goodbye to a legend. RIP Neil Armstrong