The L Word.

Now A Small Mind has a confession to make. Due to the shear number of messages that he has received in the last couple of days, he has come to consider that anonymity is not going to be a option. I did not wish to come forward with the news because of the inevitable demands from all of you, despite the fact that I cannot provide. Due to an unfortunate set of circumstances A Small Mind has been unsuccessful.

Therefore for all of you asking for photos of the lesbians romping in a park close to A Small Minds residence, I really am afraid that I cannot provide them. Despite being ten minutes from the location of hot lesbian action, I had the misfortune of not being a big beady eye on the spot. Sorry.

Also in other news, with the winner having come forward and to be announced this afternoon, I can also confirm that I have not won £161 millions pounds in the Lottery draw the other night.

Sadly due to a clerical error, also known as forgetfulness, A Small Mind did not even have an entry in the draw. Despite this slight problem, I was more than happy to dream of the various items I could do with the winnings.

Wine and women would of course be the obvious first, however I am clear in the fact that the latter of those two is currently not a problem at this time. As A Small Mind is a full and ready man with the ladies at his heals, usually doing unmentionable things.

However, what else to buy. Well when you have money that is making £10 interest every minute what can you not buy? A Chelsea football player perhaps, but other than that, everything could be yours. I may however draw the line at one of those pug ugly paintings that are currently the in-thing. If I wanted to see some freaky monstrosity with eyes in the wrong place and a vertical mouth, all I need do is look in the mirror.

So items of choice: cars, women, holidays, houses, more women, a pogo stick, some women, a hitman for Simon Cowell, News International, a boat, Rebekah Brooks, an island, Emma Watson, a space flight, Kylie Minogue, an unhackable PlayStation 3, Fearne Cotton, a Tardis, a pair of X-Ray glasses, Maria Sharapova, a copy of Windows that actually works, a bed big enough for six people, some fine wine, and finally a private investigator to find those lesbians and get some private viewings and pics for you dirty people.