World Book Day: My First Book Review

It's the day that many people and children pretend that they read books. Yes we have reached World Book Day where we all share our favourite books and authors. Growing up Roald Dahl was the author for me, with the classic tales Charlie And The Chocolate Factory and the lesser known, but for me better Charlie And The Great Glass Elevator being my favourites. I couldn't guess how many times I might have read those, but we shall settle on a lot. Another regular when I was young was Sue Townsend's famous diaries of Adrian Mole.

More recent times and my interest has moved to thriller, horror and crime. Authors such as Harlen Coben, Richard Laymon and my favourite Robert Goddard are never far from my grasp.

Last year I happened to pickup again my dusty and battered copy of H. G. Wells' The War Of The Worlds. Once again it filled me with the anticipation of old and the many times I had read it before. In the early nineties it was the book that I chose to read for my school English review that I had to write for my coursework. Some twenty odd years later I found and read the same copy and have recently found the original review that was submitted into my coursework folder back in 1993. It is as expected naive and more than a little spoiler filled.

Book Review: The War Of The Worlds

The War Of The Worlds is an unquestionable classic in the science fiction genre. It has often been imitated, but rarely bettered. The War Of The Worlds was written by British writer Herbert George Wells, who also wrote other classics such as The Invisible Man and The Time Machine. In 1953, America took over and made a feature film starring Gene Barry. Although the film was set in California and not London as the book was, it came out well, particularly the special effects which received an Oscar. The seventies saw a musical record version featuring David Essex. Mid-eighties brought a revival for The War Of The Worlds in America as it became a TV series featuring much more gruesome Martians and more consequences. The downside to a reasonably entertaining series was that H. G. Wells was never credited for its creation. The reason I read The War Of The Worlds was that I am a keen fan of science fiction and that I had recently seen the TV series mentioned.

The War Of The Worlds' plot, although simple to understand, has great depth when you get into it. It is told from the point of view of someone who lived through and obviously survived the invasion of Martians from Mars. They came in spaceships like shooting stars. When they reached Earth they took time in building war machines in which the flesh and blood part of the alien sat. From there they had supreme power with their terrifying heat ray. The narrator sets of for safety and to search for Carrie his wife. On his journey he meets a deranged curate who claims he has seen visions of the Martians coming, and a man (who was left unnamed) with the dream of human life starting up again, this time underground. During his journey he also sees an alien in its true form and not hiding in its war machine shell. This extract describes the alien well:

"Two large dark-coloured eyes were regarding me steadfastly. The mass that framed them, the head of the thing, it was rounded, and had, one might say, a face. There was a mouth under the eyes, the lipless brim of which quivered and panted, and dropped saliva. The whole creature heaved and pulsated convulsively. A lank tentacle appendage gripped the edge of the cylinder, another swayed in the air."

After some 170 pages of small text the story finally finishes, but not until there is a strange twist. The death of the Martians does not come from the power of mans technology, but from bacteria causing the Martians to die of influenza.

The War Of The Worlds has few characters which number no more than five. The most important of these is the narrator, who although he tells the whole story, he is never actually named. The only thing you do learn about him is that he is a journalist. The second character is also never named but he is the person who has the dream which is mentioned above.

Although I have counted Carrie as a character featured in the book, she never actually appears in the story as such, she is just mentioned by the narrator. The Parson is probably the deepest character with his insane vision and reactions to everything. He makes a stunning farewell as one of the alien's lunch! The final character is also not in the book for long. His part is solely as the narrator's brother an is again unnamed.

The War Of The Worlds has stunning detail throughout, but you can see that from the extract. Here is another one to give you a better idea, this one describes the alien's war machines:

"A big greyish rounded bulk, the size, perhaps, of a bear, was rising slowly and painfully out of the cylinder. As it bulged up and caught the light, it glistened like wet leather."

It says big in the above sentence and this is all that could appear in some books, but H. G. Wells goes that little bit further by adding that it's perhaps the size of a bear. This sort of detail helps the book incredibly, its gives the reader some sort of comparison for these aliens and their machines.

Due to the detail throughout the book, it gets a great deal of atmosphere. This is especially true when he describes the terror of people as they fight with each other to get onto the steamer in chapter seventeen. The final paragraph of the book describes well the panic and confusion caused by the Martians invasion. Read for example this short passage:

"And strangest of all it is to hold my wife's hand again, and to think that I have counted her, and that she has counted me, among the dead."

The War Of The Worlds is a stunning book, throughout it keeps a fast pace. If you are interested in science fiction you will find this book to your liking. Those who are unsure what genre they are a main fan of should have a read too. If you are going to read it though, you must have patience as it is not an easy read. Although written many years ago, it has never dated and probably never will. Overall The War Of The Worlds is an enjoyable read and is strongly recommended. I'll finish with a word from the narrator:

"Those who have never seen a living Martian can scarcely imagine the strange horror of its appearance. Even at this first encounter, this first glimpse, I was overcome with disgust and dread..."

The Curse Of Sekhemka?

Last night despite protest, increasing legal threats and worldwide dis-reputation growing, Northampton Borough Council and leader David Mackintosh sold the ancient Egyptian statue, Sekhemka. It made a touch under £16 million so alls good?

Or is it and will it be? We now await decisions from the Arts Council and the Museum Association regarding loss of funding or accreditation. If we do lose accreditation we shall be one of only three in the country and struck from a list of eighteen hundred. What this means is unknown, Bury and Croydon have both lost their accreditation with MLA (they say nothing has changed for them) due to their own sale of a museum item, so some would say the writing is on the wall for Northampton Museum. History shows we are about to go it alone.

However we now have £8 million in the pot which is ring-fenced for the museum to build the new world (or maybe keep the place going?). It is interesting that the mention of ring-fencing was hastily mentioned in the statement issued. It's as if they think we don't trust councils to spend money correctly...

So all we need to do now it await and see the fallout. Will the Egyptian Ambassador (David Mackintosh quite rudely said he did not recognise what he had to say) bring down a legal curse upon us? Will the museum become an outcast with loss of recognition?

We also have the question of possible other Egyptian items in the museum. If these exist, now the crowning jewel has gone from the collection, perhaps we may as well sell the rest of them. I think this story is far from complete and we have still much to learn.

Incidentally in October, the Question Time is to come from Northampton with presenter David Dimbleby on loan for it from the BBC. What price we auction him off?

The Eighties, My Eighties, No Longer My Eighties - The Saville, Hall and Harris Effect

The eighties were my decade. During the eighties I went from a bright eyed three year old to an Adrian Mole thirteen year old.

For me it will always be my decade for the unique style, be it dress, film or music; which I listen to as I write this. Ninety odd percent of music I listen to to this day was created in my decade. I still live there in a large part of my brain.

As well as the music, dress and films, there was of course the television. My television included the silly antics of It's A Knockout as people wearing bizarre costumes inevitably fell over in a comical way while Stuart Hall in his most wonderful style commentated on proceedings. Then I may have seen Jim'll Fix It, this wasn't a requirement for me, but I watched it now and again as lovely Jimmy Saville filled the eyes of young children with wonder as he gave them everything that they wanted. After school in the later eighties I would have rushed home to watch Rolf's Cartoon Club and marvelled as he hummed away as he filled us with wonder as a splodge evolved before my growing eyes into the most spectacularly drawing or painting.

Oh the wonderful Stuart Hall, Jimmy Saville and Rolf Harris.

Now one is in prison, one dead in disgrace and one about to go to be sentenced.

It fills me with tears that this, my childhood has come to this as bit by bit it picks itself apart and takes all my wide eyed wonder away.

However now as a thirty seven year old adult I think and wonder, yes my dreams of a childhood are being destroyed as a thirty seven year old adult, but that makes me the lucky one. My childhood was happy, I went through it with wide eyes and delight as I watched my TV. For those that these three evil and wicked men assaulted, their childhood was taken when they should have enjoyed it like me and that is the true horror in this very sad story.

David Mackintosh And The Curse Of Abington Street

At Monday's council meeting, leader of Northampton Borough Council, David Mackintosh gave his final, final, final, decision on reopening Abington Street to traffic. And he was unanimous in that.

However as he chose to ignore his final chance of not going against the majority of the Northampton people, did he lay prostrate on the sacrificial slab his political ambitions in next years General Election?

Mr Mackintosh has proven himself since taking charge a man of dedication to his cause and his place as leader. A local person (as he keeps telling us), with a will to do what (he thinks) is right for his home town. At all costs?

There is something to be admired of someone who has such dedication and belief that what he is doing is correct. However when by chance of life, you find yourself in so much power that you actually can do (albeit locally) almost what you chose, it makes your beliefs and dedication inherently bad to everyone else.

It perhaps comes with the territory of a politician that they can be a little self centred and only interested in their own opinions, except when it comes round to voting time. Therefore perhaps in this respect Mr Mackintosh is the ideal politician. Self interest at all times.

However a touch of humility wouldn't be a bad thing. Knowing you just might be wrong on the odd occasion is useful perhaps. Whether it be that you really shouldn't have claimed for that item on expenses, or maybe this bus station really isn't going to be big enough. It wouldn't hurt the odd politician once in a while to look human. One of us.

However back to the subject in mind here. There is no question that Mr Mackintosh truly believes that his parties plan (it was in the manifesto) to open the street is, unquestionably the right thing to do. So much so, he has totally and thoroughly ignored the majority of the Northampton public, even going as far as to ignore everything that their own "public consultation" found.

So we reach the point of no return? Whether it is successful or not time will tell. Most doubt it will be.

However time will also tell whether Mr Mackintosh, who, let me remind you again, needs your votes next year, will get them.

To be continued...

Theatre Review: National Theatre Connections - The Wardrobe and Heritage at Royal & Derngate (Royal and Underground)

The National Theatre of ten new plays for young people reached Northampton this week on its countrywide tour, and I was able on the first day to see two of them. Good fun they were too.

The first, The Wardrobe by Sam Holcroft was probably a cleverer idea on paper than the success on stage. The idea was that it told the tale of various interludes through time of the very same wardrobe and was made up of small parts, some of which worked more successfully than others. It was perhaps actually on the part of the performers than some parts felt more alive. Particularly the boys convent section which was superbly played by the group, as well as an earlier part where a young Alan Carr literally stole the show with his upper class performance.

Another thing that jarred a little was the actual staging and use of the wardrobe. It was bizarrely big at times and seemed in one section to have another exit. Fair enough for freedom of the play, but if you are really going to restrict your play idea to a wardrobe, you really need to work with the confines of it for the audience to accept it. A pleasant enough play though with a great idea, but did not really fulfil its promise.

Heritage, written by Dafydd James and performed by Stopsley High School however was a completely different story. Dark, funny and sometimes gloriously rude, this was a wonderful little play. A group of young people have been gathered together to perform a village anthem, but as the play develops, it becomes clear that all is not as it seems.

For the most part this feels like a modern day Lord Of The Flies, with a band of youngsters together, but not really getting on with one another and exchanging insults, potential romance and some really very funny conversations. The young performers were also excellent, with some huge potential in the future I should imagine if they stick with it.

This really is a very dark comedy and it is actually made I think much more powerful by the fact that the performers are so young. A real gem!

http://www.nationaltheatre.org.uk/

http://www.royalandderngate.co.uk/
http://connections.nationaltheatre.org.uk/

Theatre Review: Elements Of War at Royal & Derngate / Lies, Love And Lust at The Holy Sepulchre, Northampton

It was the young and the really young that provided my theatre experiences this weekend. First up in the form of the Royal & Derngate Youth Theatre and their fascinating performance of Elements Of War. As much a physical artistic performance as a play, this was a very different kind of show.

Broken up into four lightly connecting parts, the cast gradually got older with the first act portrayed by what I would guess seven to nine year olds and their trusty suitcases. It told the tale of their evacuation from the coming war between Wind and Fire. Although there would have been undoubted nerves from these youngsters and a few of them were a little low on voice for the large (for them) stage. They were mostly very impressive little performers, with a few more obvious future stars than others.

A neat piece of work throughout the show was the telling of developments through letters home, via broken and interconnecting stories. One ending as another started, telling the concerns of those even away from the war very well.

The second act concentrated on journalists and politicians, with gaggles of media hounding the leaders of Wind and Fire for answers. In this second act, a nice little light hearted moment came from a bored television viewer flicking through the channels. The television framed by umbrellas by the young performers.

The second part moved up the age bracket with the performers and was the domain of a little more serious story development with the doomed romance of Isabella and Noah, the latter an immigrant. The second part also featured some striking choreographed pieces, with battle, misery and eventual total death. The battle performance was striking, bold and with loud crashing sound, very powerful.

The final part courtesy of bottles of water (who would think this could possibly work!) was a suitably emotional ending. Its funny how a simple little play like this can really tell the real pointlessness of war so well and I have to say the young performers were on the whole, very, very impressive.

*

Later that day I sneakily found myself at the first public performance of first year BA (Hons) Acting students from Northampton University. Having been mighty impressed by the third year and their performances of Animal Farm and Love And Information, I was interested to see what a two year previous performance would look like.

First of all, unlike the third year performance, which was readily accessible material, the first were performing work by John Donne and all his gloriously olde English. Dost's and thou's a plenty, and much like Shakespeare for me, a confused look on my face now and again.

However, this was as much about the performance as anything else, and without a shadow of a doubt, this was striking. Certainly that first year must have covered projection and emotion especially, as it was written over the performers like a clowns red nose.

Nerves? Maybe, well almost certainly, its got to be the case for a first public performance. Maybe even more so in front of family and friends. However if there were nerves, they certainly didn't show. This was a performance of confidence and boldness, and for me incredible for first years. I greatly look forward to seeing how far these performers can go over the next couple of years.

I am also already looking forward to seeing the current second years. Although I shall need to brush up on on my Shakespeare first. Double, double and lots of some toil and all that, I believe.

Theatre Review: Love And Information at The Royal & Derngate (Royal), Northampton

The second performance I saw from the Northampton University Actors was a version of Love And Information by Caryl Churchill. Although I do not know whether this was an adapted version or not, this was a very fast paced and snappy show.

Short snippets, much like watching a sketch show, but with an much serious as comedic. Because of the shear pace, nothing ever really outstayed its welcome if there were dud parts (of which there were a couple). However the performers presented it with such style that even the poorer parts were easily ignored.

I particularly loved the running joke presented from the back of the stage of the poor lady failing to get any interest whatsoever from her partner. Likewise the glorious "red flower" speech was superb and delivered perfectly, sadly who by, my mind is a blur (Edit: It was Zoe Habour. *applause*). This was due to the countless characters and scenes, and never due to the performers. By the time one scene was finished, I had already forgot who was in the previous one.

Actually this once again highlights for me the skill involved in these stage performers. I could go to the shop to get bread and milk and come back with bread and cheese. So I truly tip my hat to those that can perform such a complicated play as this, or even any play over two minutes, if it was down to me.

Also the shear style with how tables and chairs were placed was lovely. I may be easily pleased, and not a snooty theatre critic, but put simply, I like what I see and it was glorious on the eye. I am thinking this would be Nik Corral and Lily Bootman to thank for this?

The ear was also pleased (I have discovered that my selected seat is rather close to the speaker), with a nice mixing of music to connect the scenes, I shall name check DJ Walde again for this, who was equally impressive on Animal Farm.

Finally I would like to return to the play proper and highlight what for me was the best scene and for what generally was a light-hearted show, it was a very serious one. The "piano" scene as I will call it was just so simple and yet so powerful at the same time. It was also superbly played, and you know who you are. Unfortunately I don't, and I must stop now as I have to go and get some milk...

*

I have to take this opportunity to applaud the young actors involved in these two performances over the last few days. I have seen a few plays now on stage, mostly in London and for me these young performers for the most part entertained me in the same way as the "stars" of the West End. Likewise I have seen enough television over the years with some substantially inferior acting than that on stage at the Royal in the last couple of days and for me that should stand them well in the future. I look forward to seeing them again, wherever that may be.

Theatre Review: Animal Farm at The Royal & Derngate (Royal), Northampton

There was an impressive number of boxes on display in the Northampton University Actors performance of Animal Farm at the Royal & Derngate. Poor old Boxer (Jamie O'Grady) seemed to be the only one dealing with them for a while.

These boxes turned out to be more or less the only bit of the set (bar an occasional ribbon "can I still wear my ribbons?" and an old style microphone), and they sure worked well in this heavily stripped back eighty minute version of Orwell's classic tale of power and destruction.

However as well as the boxes, there was some mighty fine talent on display from the student (who would know?) actors. Playing serious, playing for laughs, or clucking and mooing, the cast was exemplary. I don't doubt that we shall see a lot more of many of these performers.

Its difficult to single out any individuals from such a quality bunch of performers, but Harry Bradbury was commanding as Comrade Napolean, Brigette Wellbelove clipped and precise as Squealer and Richard Harley really was superb in the small role of Minimus, including impromptu mid-show round of applause for his perfectly performed song.

The production also has some glorious fight sequences excellently choreographed by Tom Jordan, which coupled with quality music from musical director DJ Wade added the drama of the story.

Having watched the solid, masterpiece A Tale Of Two Cities a couple of weeks before from the same seat, I did wonder whether a student production could live up to it. However I am thoroughly wrong in ever having a doubt, because this is super solid show of immense quality, with a highly confident cast, and one that can only be highly recommended.

*

You have just one more chance to see this performance on Saturday 22nd at 7:45

http://www.royalandderngate.co.uk/whatson/2014-2015/Royal/AnimalFarm

Theatre Review: The Body Of An American at The Royal & Derngate (Underground), Northampton

There was a moment for me right at the start of The Body Of An American that left me wondering if I had overstepped my intellect to come and see this play. After having traipsed through pretend snow and seated myself on my unreserved seat in what appeared to be an Underground tube tunnel (very well named). I was challenged to understand the opening, fast, frantic exchange of conversation between William Gaminara and Damien Molony.

Following an overwhelming collection of images on the screens at either end, the two performers set to one another in fast and frantic conversation, myself understanding a little of it, and concerned that I was being stoopid in not keeping up.

Thankfully quickly, either the play began to work for me, or more importantly maybe, my brain kicked into gear, because all of a sudden I was living the story.

The play is probably one of the most stripped back you could imagine. Two people, two chairs and two screens depicting photos and video, occasionally harrowing. However it all worked. Although the two actors were undoubtedly the stars of the show, those chairs offered quality support, depicting chairs (unsurprisingly), vehicles and a sledge, while being liberally thrown about the performing area. Also the use of light and sound was excellent coupled with that magical click of the fingers.

The story, based on true material and events was very cleverly constructed, challenging Gaminara and Molony to the extreme with multiple characters and accents. I truly never cease to be amazed by the memory of these performers, true stars, rather than those retake kings we hear about.

Weaving about, the play offers challenging thoughtful ideas of the viewer, culminating for me in the ultimate scene towards the end of the telephone call between Paul and the brother. A scene that must either bring a lump to the throat, or a tear to the eye. For my part, it was just me sweating and I shall stick to that story.

Summing up, a sharp, occasionally very witty play, that will make you think a damn sight more than the next episode of whichever soap you wish to name. You could do yourself a favour and go and see it, but be quick it departs on Saturday.

The Body Of An American

Gridlock Northampton - Trouble At North Gate

At five this morning I found myself lying awake thinking about a bus station (possibly an interchange). I live in a funny world it has to be said.

However, it was a sort of dominant building for residents of Northampton yesterday, as around lunchtime anarchy descended on the users of the roads of the central area. Turning into an episode of On The Buses without the added seventies humour, roads around the new £7 million bus station (interchange) became gridlocked.

That place of modern talk Twitter became alive with activity about it, people trapped, people laughing, people saying I told you so.

For my part I had remained relatively silent on the ins and out of the situation as a relatively rare bus user due to my central location. However many knew better, this new building was never going to work they said. I saw a mention on Twitter that people stating "I told you so" was distasteful, a lot of people were seriously being inconvenienced. However what where they meant to do? They had put up for months the council saying it was vital and was going to work.

Many of these people knew it was not going to work because they were bus users. Much of this had been thrown up in a generally ignored public consultation anyway. Local people, the voting public were concerned that neither the size or location was correct. On first inspection yesterday, it appears they were right.

The old bus station is a mess and needed replacing. The first part is correct there, I have seen it. However if you have a building that you haven't touched for the best part of thirty years, its going to be a mess. Greyfriars problem wasn't the building, it was the countless administrations that had neglected it.

However we are now stuck with our new building, so somehow they are going to have to work out how to use it. On BBC Look East, Mr Hadland explained that they would work through the night to make sure the chaos did not happen again. With a latter statement, this turned out to be a trip to the DIY shop to buy a lot of yellow paint and even more oddly to enforce a law that should have already been active. We shall see today, if any of this works.

*

Last night Mr Hadland was incorrectly introduced as Leader of Northampton Borough Council, an interesting moment, whether mistake or intent. Maybe, quite rightly the BBC thought that such an important event would result in the Leader being the only person being put forward to speak and assumed he was? Turns out that on the very first day of proper activity at the station, Mr Mackintosh was unavailable mostly. Convenient? Couldn't possibly say.

*

Abington Street reopening, pray tell? Much like the bus station, the majority of responses have been against this taking place and with the cars driving up it and out of Wellington Street, they will be heading straight into yesterdays motionless Greyfriars. Maybe a quick rethink might be required for this? However on past experience, it doesn't look like Mr Mackintosh is a man for turning. Well except from turning away when the doo doo hits the fan, just ask Mr Hadland...

Theatre Review: A Tale Of Two Cities at The Royal & Derngate (Royal), Northampton

The last few years, in particular 2013, it is simple to say, I have "found" theatre. What started from an accidental drop in for a play on the spur of a moment in London a few years back, kindled an interest that I frankly didn't know I had. Since then, money allowing, I have made my way to London on a Saturday to do a matinee and an evening performance in the theatre land of the West End. The place of the best plays, the best performers, the best experience.

Turns out, this isn't true. Having been a bit snobby about the situation, I failed to realise that a mere ten minutes or so walk from home, there was a place of equal, no, better quality. Having witnessed overly positive comments on Twitter this week of the new "Made In Northampton" play at the Royal, an adaptation of Dickens' A Tale Of Two Cities, I suddenly thought why not! Having been a fan of Dickens' stories for as long as I can remember (adaptions rather than reading, having always found him a difficult author to get into), I thought maybe this was the time to give the local theatre land a go.

What a quality decision it was to make, as for less than my train fare to London, I was presented with probably the most polished and absorbing plays, maybe superior to all I had seen in London. Oddly, I believe I had already been won over that this was going to be quality before the play even started. As the members of the audience gathered and found their seats, the whole company were visible through a shear curtain moving gently through the stage singing. The ladies moved through singing then froze, the gents walked through and froze. Wonderfully choreographed, hard to explain without seeing it, but a detail outside of the main performance that smacked that this was going to be a polished show.

Not having been for many a year, I was surprised at how compact the Royal is. This was emphasised by the fact that from the outset the stage was billowing with people as the large ensemble took to the stage (and indeed the first scene Waldorf and Statlers boxes). This was the first time I had seen a play in recent times where I wasn't actually familiar with any of the cast, but as the program clearly showed these were all actors of stage calibre and it showed throughout the performance.

Although not really wanting to single out anyone, as I really think there wasn't a dud performer amongst them. I have to say that Yolanda Kettle and Oliver Dimsdale stuck out for me personally. Both playing single, leading roles were brilliant. Kettle, effervescent as Lucie and Dimsdale as the self confessed failure Sydney, but eventually far from it, was gripping and effortless in his performance.

The stage, costume, props and scenic wise was also exemplary. Quiet scenes played simply with just tables and chairs, grander moments with France collapsing into anarchy with more dramatic settings towards the back of the stage. Nothing however was too big, and for the small setting of the Royal this was appropriate, but powerful in its own way.

Much has also been said of the music composed by no less, an Oscar winning artist in the name of Rachel Portman. This was indeed perfection, soft when needed and loud and dramatic as scenes required. Mike Poulton's adaption is also a wonder, breaking a meaty story into a manageable two and a half hours would never be easy, but he has done a most sterling job. Finally director James Dacre, who has gelled it all together to perfection in his first at the Royal & Derngate.

It is safe to say, I have done the hometown theatre a disservice, but rest assured in 2014, I think I shall find myself quite a few times. Indeed my ticket for The Body Of An American awaits its use.

Theatre Review: The Duck House at the Vaudeville Theatre, London

From the moment Ben Miller strides onto the stage of the Vaudeville and delivers a concise and funny introduction to proceedings, I got the uncanny feeling that I was going to like this play. A lot.

Written by Dan Patterson (Mock the Week) and Colin Swash (Have I Got News For You and Private Eye), this is a comedy (read farce) of the highest order. Set in May 2009, that wonderful time when our beloved MP's were exposed as the expenses villains we now know them as, this is near the knuckle stuff. The early part takes great joy in creating comedy from what we now know, lampooning many that were later to be in government in a very knowing and very funny way.

The lead roll of MP on the turn Robert Houston is played with delicious exuberance by Ben Miller, when needed, channeling the supreme reaches of an out of control Basil Fawlty, while still being able to deliver those so subtle jokes so well. He just seems not only perfect for the role, but totally enjoying it. Making it all the better for us.

Having seen Miller on television a great deal, none of this is really a surprise. Simon Shepherd though for me was a standout surprise. Very much more familiar for serious roles, his part in this as Sir Norman Cavendish is a revelation. Giving his all, especially in his hysterical second act performance, he really was the surprise of the play.

The rest of the cast were unfamiliar to me (yes even Diana Vickers, what is The X-Factor?!?) but without a shadow of a doubt all are superb. Off the four Debbie Chazen is the best (Add Russian accent "Hello"); sadly very much underused in the second act, as Russian housekeeper Ludmilla. Pretty much stealing every scene she appears in, she is a delight.

That is not to detract from the remaining three performers, with Nancy Carroll superb as the technophobe wife Felicity Hoffman, and James Musgrave pulling off several costumes with style and verve, yes even that *spoilers* suit as son Seb. Diana Vickers has less to do as Seb's girlfriend Holly, only appearing in the second act, but having a "hard hitting" role and the best costume of the show, even more than that *spoiler* suit. Although I may be biased in that.

The set is perfect also, with the first act being very much a farce set, standard living room laden with goods (not sure who paid for them), while the second act set is bang on and neatly presented at the start by a startled Miller.

There is no question that if it is humanly possible for you to get to see this play then you should. Some of the funniest moments you are likely to see this year (or next), be it TV, film or theatre. Featuring the best acupuncture joke I have ever heard, the best use of a *spoiler* suit ever, impressive use of dairy product in a running gag and a cast performance from the gods. Please stop reading this and go and buy a ticket will you, but I am afraid that you are paying...

The Duck House is on at the Vaudeville Theatre, London until March 29th 2014.
www.vaudeville-theatre.co.uk/The-Duck-House.html

BREAKING NEWS: Father Christmas Pulls Out Of Northampton

In a news exclusive, a Small Mind can reveal that following lengthy talks with Legal & General, the seasonal visit of Father Christmas on the 25th December will now not be taking place.

In an exclusive interview, Mr Christmas said "Ho Ho Ho Ho. Residents of Northampton! I am so very sorry that my sleigh will not be passing over the skies of your fair town this year. I had been in talks for many months with Legal & General over terms, and unfortunately despite my very best efforts, I was unable to come to an agreement that met with my requirements. I hope to return, full of joy, with bells a ringing and sleigh a sleighing next year."

This news was surprising to residents of the town when I revealed it to them yesterday.

A resident "This is terrible news, my little boy is going to be traumatised now with this and will likely be in rehab for years to come!"

Another resident: "I can't believe this is happening! How am I going to explain all them toys that have pushed my credit card over the limit?"

A further resident: "Ahhhhhh a talking brain! In a jar!"

A Small Mind was unclear regarding the leverage of Legal & General in the town, so I consulted an expert for an explanation.

Eamonn Fitzpatrick (local businessman): "Three pound of potatoes for a pound. Any bowl of bananas a pound! This lengthy cucumber can be yours love for 80p. All my produce is better than that tat in Tescos."

A Small Mind then consulted another expert.

Mr Willy Gilder (BBC Radio Northampton political expert): "Well it turns out that rather surprisingly Legal & General have somewhat more power in the town than was first thought. I have discovered in papers hiding under Mr David Mackintosh's (leader of the council) desk that earlier this year Legal & General obtained the air rights within the town boundary and since then have held all the negotiations for air traffic. Therefore Mr Christmas was required to obtain air clearance for his sleigh to deliver all the parcels for the little girls and boys. This it would seem he was unable to obtain and has therefore had no choice but to pull out of Northampton."

With this shocking news discovered, a Small Mind spoke to several air users within the town for their opinions.

An air user: "I am outraged, my daddy took me to Abington Park and while I was playing with my remote controlled air plane, a man approached and asked whether we had clearance to use the air space. My daddy was then made to pay a fine from my pocket money! WAAAAAHHH!"

Another air user: "Mummy refused to pay that man the fine and he cut the string on my kite! WAAAAHHHH!"

A further air user: "Quack! Quack! Quackety! Quack! Quack!"

In an attempt to get further information, a Small Mind then contacted the Chronicle & Echo newspaper and through editor David Summers a statement was obtained from Northampton Borough Council.

"The news that Mr Father Christmas will not be visiting this year is off course unfortunate, however the Council has been working hard with Legal & General in obtaining an adequate replacement. Therefore we are happy to announce that following long negotiations, the wonderful locally based 99p stores will be providing quality toys from their range. These will all be delivered to little boys and little girls who have been nice and not naughty this year. We are hopeful that all deliveries will be made by the 30th January 2014.

We are also hopeful that negotiations can be resolved for Mr Father Christmas' involvement within the town next year."

Therefore, despite this obvious sad news. Having seen one of the plastic toys that will be this years presents and the quite splendid ribbon (20 metres for 99p) that is tied around it, it is obvious that the best has been made of an unfortunate incident.

The leader of Northampton Borough Council, Mr David Mackintosh was unavailable for comment.

TV Review: BBC Cold War Season - LEGACY

Dowdy, grim, dark, moody, country hit by an energy crisis, hardly a character smiling, this drama was set in England of 2013, oh I mean 1974. And what a drama it was!

Solid acting, a strong non sensational and intelligent story, a lack of unnecessary "action" set-pieces. This was a perfect, if dull (in the style, not quality sense) drama. Everything that a drama of the period needed to be.

Lead Charlie Cox as rookie spy Charles Thoroughgood, was an actor unfamiliar to me, but appearing in pretty much every scene, he gave a quality performance as the spy with a complicated history.

Romola Garai however was an actress I had been in love with since her turn in The Hour, a bright and glossy role, far removed from the dowdy, but still beautiful Anna March. In a relatively slim role, Romola did all that was required, looking mostly glum with her husband and glowing (love struck?) with Charlie.

The spy boss (either at his desk or the local cafe), Hookey, was played by the very familiar to me Simon Russell Beale, having seen him rattling off words to the dozen in the Harold Pinter play The Hot House earlier in the year. It was unusual to see this actor having less lines in an hour and half than he probably had in a minute earlier in the year. However as to be expected of such a renowned stage actor, it proved a doddle and he filled every scene he was in.

Finally Andrew Scott as the Russian spy was an interesting proposition, mainly known as the insane, squeeky voiced Moriaty in Sherlock. Hearing him deliver his lines with a strong (maybe too caricatured?) Russian accent was weird. However he was OK, although undoubtedly the weakest of the four leads.

The visual appeal of the play was exemplary, the washed out, grainy look suited the piece perfectly. Although like many of these "gritty" dramas, I really could have done without the never still camera work.

Also a special mention for the very strong music from Ruth Barrett, highly commanding when it needed to be (striding across a field) but equally contemplative when required. An aural feast!

Overall though, this was an excellent, intelligent drama, maybe not for those who have a constant need for action, but for those that require a fix away from witchetty grubs and other brainless reality shows this was the perfect antidote!

BBC iPlayer: http://www.bbc.co.uk/i/b03k3cc2/ available until Thursday 5th December 2013

FOR SALE: SEKHEMKA MACKIMUS

The rarely sort after Sekhemka Mackimus is shortly to be made available for sale in an attempt to remove misguided and total one vision management from the organisation known as Northampton Borough Council.

It has become clear to those under the influence of the aforementioned item that whenever it comes up with an idea or plan for its dominions, this must be passed at all costs. No idea is too outlandish and neither must any plan not be fulfilled despite any possible disinterest or concern of the peasants under his order.

Sometimes regarded as a god by those that kneel at his feet, the Sekhemka Mackimus is an uncontrollable force that hopes at all times to do good for all those beneath him. However like many that assume power, he now knows no wrong and has at his control the baying hoards in the chambers known as the Guildhallus.

There are many however that are concerned at the power and control that this forceful grinning person has become and the dominions have revolted and having passed a charter for its removal, the item known as Sekhemka Mackimus is shortly to go up for sale on Internet auction site eBay.

A reserve of 99p will be set with the hope of achieving at least £10 to cover postage and packing costs. There is the hope that a buyer can be found overseas, but all are realistic that this may not be achievable at this current time.


Once the sale is completed for Sekhemka Mackimus there will then also be a fire sale of another troublesome object elsewhere in the town, the Satyr Harkerus.

Blocked By The Leader Of The Gang, I Am! - David Mackintosh And His Northampton Borough Council

For those that follow me on Twitter (countable on one deformed hand), I am sure it could be agreed that I am not the most evil of evilness on what can be a place of terrible material. However it turns out that by way of humorous, political and apparently cutting comment, I have found myself blocked by the most worthy of worthy people, the leader of Northampton Borough Council.

Oh! I thought. What foul thing did I send him to cause such a thing to happen? I could not recall sending him a death threat, a bomb threat, or a threat to shave his pussy cat (if indeed he has one). Perhaps in a drunken stupor I sent some foul slur upon thigh and tipped forth him over the edge. However to be fair, I am as likely to ever get in a drunken stupor as have a sordid night of passionate sex with Kylie Minogue, Emma Watson, Victoria Pendleton, Maria Sharapova and Anne Widdecombe (all at the same time).

So not really knowing what had tipped him over the edge, I investigated and it turned out it was one of these tweets:

@NorthamptonBC I know the market sq "fountain" is caput, but would is be difficult to keep the clock working? @WillyGilder @davidmackintosh

@NorthamptonBC @davidmackintosh Enterprise to take just two green bags of waste a week. Oh how we laughed! @WillyGilder @ChronandEcho

#ThatAwkwardMoment when @Stuart_Linnell asks @davidmackintosh some cricket questions on @BBCNorthampton

@ChronandEcho We were all spared the sight of @davidmackintosh hanging naked off the wrecking ball then. #phew

@NorthamptonBC @davidmackintosh As Enterprise take all bags second week, whose time & money did they waste? @WillyGilder @ChronandEcho

Notes From A Small Mind: Grand Theft Auto: Northampton - http://fromasmallmind.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/grand-theft-auto-northampton.html … @callum_jones22 @ChronEditor @davidmackintosh

@davidmackintosh "Young man, there's no need to feel down. I said, young man, pick yourself off the ground."

in reply to

Construction work has started today at Railway Station in Northampton. Great news for town #northamptonalive pic.twitter.com/0vUdPLpw3Y

So pretty random but conclusively one of these had caused the public employed leader of the council to take a turn for the worse and block me from following him.

Well, I thought, I am sure worst thing have been sent to him, so I reckoned for someone so high up in the echelons of politics he really must have thin skin, or maybe like many politicians in power he just knows best and the people who pay his wages are just wrong and stupid.

So leader of the council, an important job, but my thin skinned friend has he eyes set much higher in the future with his plans to hopefully stand as Conservative MP in my area. So this got me thinking even more, if he is unable to take the above for the leader of the council position, is he truly cut out for the benches of Westminster? Surely the above is going to be small beef for what is to come if he is lucky enough to take up this position.

So as not to make this a total attack on Mr Macintosh though, I have to say I admire his position of always believing he knows the best thing for Northampton. I disagree over many of his ideas that is true, but as a leader, he sure seems to know how to get what he wants, no matter how disastrous maybe some of it is to become in the future. We all need strong leaders, I suppose, but my fear with some people, they just always seem to think they know the right thing to do and just can't see that just once in a while, they might, just might be wrong on something...

GRAND THEFT AUTO: NORTHAMPTON

Arriving in the shops today is the latest ground breaking game in the hit series. Set across a sprawling ten square miles of the English county of Northamptonshire, the game sees serial criminal Kingsley Heath relocated to the new patch following a daring escape from the gangland world of Swindon.

Featuring miles of inner town ghettos and stiff upper-lipped countryside to explore the game features fifty stunningly diverse missions.

Missions include:

M1.10
Struggling to get on in the new town, Kingsley has to take on the roll of fountain cleaner on the town market. With dynamic physics and stunning graphics, you must keep control of the out of control urine and faeces that keep appearing in the water. Mission complete after accumulation of 10 tons of waste matter.

On completion of M1.9 the first town unlock occurs and Abington Street becomes accessible to traffic.

M2.1
Following the opening of Abington Street to traffic, chaos ensues as an epidemic of out of control five year olds find themselves in danger from vehicular transportation. Your task this mission is to save one hundred children in five minutes from the perils of un-pedestrianisation.

M2.10
The sedate and pleasant locale of Kislingbury Lawn Bowls Club is being terrorised by the evil rogue radio DJ John Griff and his bowl polishing machinations. With grip gone and bowls flying in all directions endangering the old members, you must team up with Griff's Radio Northampton colleague Helen Blaby and rough all the bowls up before the Presidents Cup.

Upon completion of M2.10, the second map unlock occurs adding a further three square miles of play area with the opening of this roadway:

M3.05
Kingsley finds himself in the pay of an unscrupulous building developer and given control of a bulldozer, he is tasked with "accidentally" destroying a listed building that the land owner has been having trouble with. You have 90 seconds to destroy the building before the police arrive.

M3.10
Market Stallholder Eamonn "Fitzy" Fitzpatrick needs your help and quick. A criminal market trader has flooded the fruit and veg trade with exploding plums and carrots. You have three minutes to clear the stalls of the explosives before disaster strikes.

Upon completion of M3.10 A greater part of the Sixfields area opens up for play:

M4.01
Chronicle & Echo sports writer Jefferson Lake is concerned when Northampton Town start winning games and with the aid of colleague Callum Jones and editor Steve Summers they discover the team has been duplicated by alien replicas under a slow infiltration of the planet Earth. In control of a fixed cannon, Kingsley must defend Sixfields from the ever increasing numbers of alien invaders.

M4.10
The black bin bags are out of control. Piling up in the street, Enterprise have no way of containing them. Controlling a super bin lorry, you have two days to clear the streets of rubbish before Northampton is buried under a mountain of waste.

M5.03
The Northampton Clowns are out of control. Increasing in numbers every day, Kingsley must use his hosepipe to remove one hundred fake wigs and noses before the town becomes a total circus.

M5.10
Following a botched genetic experiment, Northampton Kingpin David Macintosh is infected with harmful material and grows to magnificent proportions. Having gone insane he threatens all of the inhabitants of Northampton. In control of a gunship, Kingsley finds himself in the final battle to save the town. As David Macintosh hangs from the lift tower can you finally overcome the monstrosity he has become?

Television Review: Blackout

Following a fine tradition of British docudramas that have included The War Game and Threads, Channel 4's Blackout set out to depict several days in Britain following a nationwide electricity failure.

Supposedly this could be a very real threat in the near future and the programme depicted the event through the eyes of several characters in a very impressive and understandable way. From the mother and child to the Tom Good character, it provided the stark truth of life in such an event.

Using camera footage and and real life footage we were left feeling pretty much repulsed by what could and indeed what did happen with regard the 2011 riots. So much footage from those riots was used, it could have been hard to have even made the programme effectively without them. However before them riots, maybe a drama like this would have been less effective. Since them though, we "the normal" people can really see how truly close we are to anarchy in the UK.

The key character was indeed the person who was most prepared for this event. Providing for his family in a most complete way, everyone watching knew from the outset that he was going to the target from the desperate and undesirables of the world. His decent from always prepared scout mentality to looter and effective thug depicted well that to be honest you might as well not bother being ready.

Keeping it real throughout we were offered snippets of facts, generally showing how unprepared we truly are for such an event. Whether this could be suggested as scaremongering or not could be up to the viewer. The fact that the batteries in the hospital only last thirty minutes could probably be the most concern. Even my old Samsung phone lasted longer than that.

The cast, as is the case in these programmes, were generally unknowns and in the main were impressive enough, although the girl in the hospitals make-up was perhaps more dynamic than the performance. The pacing was excellent, with the final half hour "containing very strong language" giving a good pay-off for the gradual build-up of the first hour.

Overall though, it was a valiant attempt and was disturbing enough and in one particular case at the end, shocking enough to live up to the billing.

*****

An exclusive still from a deleted scene from Channel 4 docudrama #blackout pic.twitter.com/BPNm7lr8cO
— A Small Mind (@asmallmind) September 9, 2013

DISNEY'S PLANES - At Cinemas Now!

At Cinemas Now The Latest Blockbuster cartoon animation from Disney!

From the makers of Disney's Cars come this brand new exciting adventure.

Featuring all those favourite comic characters that you came to love so much.

This time they take to the skies in a brand new adventure featuring the superstar voices that help the box office takings while adding nothing to the film.

Those wonderful comic creations you saw in Cars are back, this time with wings!

They take part in an action adventure that you are sure to have seen before in that hit children's cartoon Cars, which coincidently we released to rave reviews and huge box office takings.

So here we are again with a not so different adventure featuring planes and not cars!

 So now is the time to shoot off to your local multiplex in your planes, eh cars and soak up the fun and frolics in this brand new classic comic adventure.

 AT CINEMAS NOW

Coming soon to a cinema near you:

BICYCLES(2014)

TRAINS (2014)

TRUCKS (2015)

SHIPS (2015)

TAXIS (2015)

BUSES (2016)

MOTORCYCLES (2016)

HOT AIR BALLOONS (2016)

CANOES (2016)

VANS (2017)

GLIDERS (2017)

RICKSHAWS (2017)

UNICYCLES (2017)

and many more as we think of them!

New From Channel 5: Envelope Opening With The Stars

Following the huge success of the pilot show on Channel 5 News on the 15th August featuring A-level results from around the country, television broadcaster Channel 5 is proud to announce the commissioning of a brand new entertainment show.

Each Saturday night a famous person will meet select members of the public for that most exciting night of their lives. Live from a spectacular stage erected weekly in London's Trafalgar Square they will be with them for key moments of their lives. That envelope which will change their lives forever.

Episode 1 presented by superstar Simon Cowell will see seven men from all over Britain at that most important time. Each side of a dramatically placed commercial break the men will open that envelope that contains the crucial results of their paternity test to see whether for the rest of their lives they have to pay child maintenance.

EPISODE 1 - WHOSE THE DADDY?

Episode 2 presented by Prince Harry Of Wales spins episode 1 on its head with 16-30 year olds from around the country opening that important envelope containing the information as to who really is their father, the man who deserted them at birth. 

EPISODE 2 - ARE YOU MY DADDY?

 

Episode 3 sees Abi Titmuss meet men and women from around the country who have had an unfortunate moment of a split during copulating and have the life changing moment of whether they have an STD to deal with, potentially for the rest of their lives.

EPISODE 3 - RUBBER OR NOT?

Episode 4 sees former cyclist Lance Armstrong meet men and women with that vital doctors letter in their possession. The moment is here for them to finally know whether that illness that they have been suffering with is the Big C.

EPISODE 4 - THE BIG C-SAW

Episode 5 sees Stephen Fry meet members of families from around the country who have had family members die in potentially suspicious circumstances. All have left a sealed envelope either at the scene or at their home. So the time has come for the answer.

EPISODE 5 - TOPPED OR NOT?

Channel 5 is very proud to announce this exciting, groundbreaking new series for their Autumn schedule.