In a news exclusive, a Small Mind can reveal that following lengthy talks with Legal & General, the seasonal visit of Father Christmas on the 25th December will now not be taking place.
In an exclusive interview, Mr Christmas said "Ho Ho Ho Ho. Residents of Northampton! I am so very sorry that my sleigh will not be passing over the skies of your fair town this year. I had been in talks for many months with Legal & General over terms, and unfortunately despite my very best efforts, I was unable to come to an agreement that met with my requirements. I hope to return, full of joy, with bells a ringing and sleigh a sleighing next year."
This news was surprising to residents of the town when I revealed it to them yesterday.
A resident "This is terrible news, my little boy is going to be traumatised now with this and will likely be in rehab for years to come!"
Another resident: "I can't believe this is happening! How am I going to explain all them toys that have pushed my credit card over the limit?"
A further resident: "Ahhhhhh a talking brain! In a jar!"
A Small Mind was unclear regarding the leverage of Legal & General in the town, so I consulted an expert for an explanation.
Eamonn Fitzpatrick (local businessman): "Three pound of potatoes for a pound. Any bowl of bananas a pound! This lengthy cucumber can be yours love for 80p. All my produce is better than that tat in Tescos."
A Small Mind then consulted another expert.
Mr Willy Gilder (BBC Radio Northampton political expert): "Well it turns out that rather surprisingly Legal & General have somewhat more power in the town than was first thought. I have discovered in papers hiding under Mr David Mackintosh's (leader of the council) desk that earlier this year Legal & General obtained the air rights within the town boundary and since then have held all the negotiations for air traffic. Therefore Mr Christmas was required to obtain air clearance for his sleigh to deliver all the parcels for the little girls and boys. This it would seem he was unable to obtain and has therefore had no choice but to pull out of Northampton."
With this shocking news discovered, a Small Mind spoke to several air users within the town for their opinions.
An air user: "I am outraged, my daddy took me to Abington Park and while I was playing with my remote controlled air plane, a man approached and asked whether we had clearance to use the air space. My daddy was then made to pay a fine from my pocket money! WAAAAAHHH!"
Another air user: "Mummy refused to pay that man the fine and he cut the string on my kite! WAAAAHHHH!"
A further air user: "Quack! Quack! Quackety! Quack! Quack!"
In an attempt to get further information, a Small Mind then contacted the Chronicle & Echo newspaper and through editor David Summers a statement was obtained from Northampton Borough Council.
"The news that Mr Father Christmas will not be visiting this year is off course unfortunate, however the Council has been working hard with Legal & General in obtaining an adequate replacement. Therefore we are happy to announce that following long negotiations, the wonderful locally based 99p stores will be providing quality toys from their range. These will all be delivered to little boys and little girls who have been nice and not naughty this year. We are hopeful that all deliveries will be made by the 30th January 2014.
We are also hopeful that negotiations can be resolved for Mr Father Christmas' involvement within the town next year."
Therefore, despite this obvious sad news. Having seen one of the plastic toys that will be this years presents and the quite splendid ribbon (20 metres for 99p) that is tied around it, it is obvious that the best has been made of an unfortunate incident.
The leader of Northampton Borough Council, Mr David Mackintosh was unavailable for comment.
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